Never confess to your wife if you cheat – Teju Babyface tells men

Popular comedian and talk show host, Teju Oyelakin, widely known as Teju Babyface, has sparked debate with his advice to men on handling marital infidelity.

In a YouTube video shared on Monday, Teju warned men against confessing to their wives or partners if they cheat, insisting that such admissions often do more harm than good.

He described the act of confessing infidelity as one of the “most catastrophic and damaging” decisions a person can make in a marriage, arguing that it could permanently erode trust and destabilize the relationship.

“If you cheat on your wife or your husband, but especially your wife especially men if you cheat on your wife, don’t tell her. Don’t confess. Do not ever do it,” he said.

“It is one of the most catastrophic and damaging things you can ever do in your life.”

The comedian said many people misinterpret the idea of confession, noting that while some quote the Bible to justify it, confession of sin is meant for God and not for humans.

“People will even quote the Bible to support the idea of confession. They will say that if we confess and repent, then our sins are forgiven,” he said.

“Excuse me, that is to God and from God, not to man. It is confession to God, not to man. Do not do it.”

He added that people who confess after cheating often deceive themselves into thinking they are being honest, when in reality they are being manipulative.

“You are not being honest; you are being manipulative. What you’re really doing is shedding the weight of your guilt, not helping your spouse. You’re looking for someone else to carry the burden of your wrongdoing,” he explained.

Sharing a personal experience, Teju admitted that before marriage, he once cheated in a serious relationship and confessed, a decision he now regrets. He said the confession was not driven by honesty but by a subconscious desire to sabotage the relationship.

“I can see clearly now that I confessed because I wanted out of the relationship,” he said.

“If I cheated and then confessed, and she left by herself, I could justify it to myself. That was not honesty that was cowardice.”

He argued that confessions rarely heal relationships but instead deepen wounds and permanently alter trust.

“There is no benefit to your spouse when you confess. All the benefits are yours. What you give them is pain, heartache, and misery,” he stated.

According to him, some marriages never recover from the damage caused by such revelations.

“I have a friend who cheated on his wife 15 years ago, confessed in their first year of marriage, and to this day she still holds it over his head. He’s still suffering from that confession,” he shared.

Teju stressed that true repentance should involve a change of behaviour, not confession, urging men to stop cheating rather than seek emotional relief by telling their wives.

“If you feel bad about cheating, stop cheating. If you still feel guilty, confess to God or a counsellor, not your wife. Don’t ever put that weight on her. That’s not honesty; that’s cruelty,” he said.

He also distinguished between a man who makes a mistake and one who is a habitual cheater.

“The fact that you cheated once doesn’t make you a cheater,” he noted.

“A cheater is someone who does it repeatedly. But if you stumbled once, learn from it and change your actions, don’t destroy your home in the name of confession.”