Chimamanda Adichie opens up on battle with depression

Celebrated Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has spoken candidly about her battle with depression and how it disrupted her writing for years.

In a conversation with CNN Africa, Adichie described the period as one of overwhelming unhappiness, likening depression to a shadow she could not shake off.

“I was fighting depression. In that period, just deeply unhappy. Deeply unhappy. And there are ways to try and hide your unhappiness, but you know, it’s there. It’s a constant sort of shadow with you. And it’s not a good place to be.

“So in the years that I couldn’t write — and really not being able to write fiction when fiction is a thing that you deeply love — it’s just a terrible place to be,” she said.

To cope, the award-winning writer said she immersed herself in speaking engagements, hoping they might reignite her creativity. But despite her efforts, she often returned home feeling unfulfilled. Instead, she found comfort in reading books and poetry, which slowly helped her reconnect with language.

“I did a number of things. I tried to distract myself. I said yes to many more things than I ordinarily would because I just thought the writing is not happening. Okay, why don’t I just go and give the speech? And part of it was also, maybe if I go, then I’ll get inspired… but then I wouldn’t. Then I’d come back and be miserable.

“But I think also I did things like I read the books I love. I read a lot more poetry in that period because I think poetry really helps with language. But also in the end, it’s just about waiting and hoping. You’re not in control of this thing,” she explained.

Adichie, who describes creativity as a spiritual process, said she often feels her stories come from ancestors and spirits.

“There are stories that are — so I call it the ancestors and the spirits speaking to me. So they’re really speaking to me now. And I’m very happy to be running around and singing and dancing for this novel, Dream Count, because it means a lot to me,” she said.

Having completed the novel after her long struggle, Adichie expressed gratitude for both her recovery and the warm reception the book has received.

“I’m grateful that I finished it, finally. I’m grateful that it’s out. I’m grateful that it’s found its readers. I’m grateful that, in some ways, really, honestly, it’s kind of everything I hoped it would be.”